Another week, another power rankings edition. As a member in good standing in Bloguin Blogpoll NFL Power Rankings, I've submitted my ballot for week 9!

Disclaimer time! Please remember, I'm just a dumb ass blogger who's making it up as I go along, and only gets to see 3 games at most every Sunday (and one of those is always the Lions).

The game count this weekend? Approximately 2.75. I missed all but a handful of plays during the early Sunday games, as I did my duties as a good boyfriend, helping with the fall cleanup in the yard. (I swear the leaves were calf deep in parts of the yard!) I was given relief just before 4 PM, as my my arthritic back and shoulders were screaming "No mas"! (Seriously! You could hear what sounded like Roberto Duran creaking whenever I moved my achy, breaky shoulders...) At 4, suffered through the Lions miserable loss to the Seahawks...from which I'm still recovering mentally. I'm thinking therapy may be needed. I watched the Sunday night game, Philly vs Dallas, in a bit of a haze, thanks to the Lions. I was able to watch only through the 3rd quarter of the Monday night matchup, Pittsburgh at Denver, as I had to get set up for The Knee Jerks podcast.

With caveats out of the way, I urge you to please take my NFL power rankings with a grain of salt and a huge amount of incredulity.

1. New Orleans Saints: The number 1 team had to come from behind against the low rent Panthers, as they outscored under manned Carolina 24-3 in the 2nd half. MVP candidate Drew Brees had an off day, only throwing for 330 yards and 1 TD. Some off day, huh?
   
2. Indianapolis Colts: Indy was taken to the limit by the rapidly improving Texans, coming from behind late to remain undefeated at 8-0. But Matt Schwab tore up the Colts' pass defense, which does not bode well for their Sunday night game against the Tom Bradys.
   
3. Pittsburgh Steelers: Pittsburgh blitzkreiged (Blitzburghed?) the Broncos in the 2nd half Monday night to win their 5th straight, after starting the season 1-2. RB Rashard Mendenhall has all but Wally Pipped incumbent Willie Parker, becoming the main man on the ground.
   
4. Cincinnati Bengals: The team no longer known as the Bungles keep churning along. They've won 6 of 7 behind RB Cedric Benson, who was resurrected from the Bears' discard pile. Benson becoming a dominant back was even more unexpected than ARod getting clutch post season hits for the Yankees.
   
5. New England Patriots: The Bradys tamed the Fins' Wildcat offense in a hard fought 27-17 win. Laurence Mulroney has taken on the main rushing load after injuries to Fred Taylor and Sammy Morris, but this team isn't called the Bradys for nothing. They'll go as far as Tom Terrific will take them.
   
6. Minnesota Vikings: The Vikes' bye week started with Brett Favre contemplating what to have for his Monday night dinner. He finally made up his mind on Friday.
   
7. Dallas Cowboys: Meet the new leaders of the NFC East, after knocking off the Iggles in Philly. I keep ragging on the Cowboys, yet they keep on winning...despite having Jerry Jones' puppe...uh...rather, Wade Phillips as head coach.
   
8. Arizona Cardinals: After throwing 5 picks against the Panthers, Kurt Warner managed to reverse his karma, and toss 5 TD passes in a big win over the Bears. The Cards now have a near stranglehold on the NFC West. Regardless, WR Anquan Boldin is  unhappy with his contract. In other news, the sun still sets in the west.
   
9. Atlanta Falcons: Head coach Mike White made "harmful contact" to Washington's DeAngelo Hall in a sideline scuffle during the Falcons' easy win. Doesn't Hall know to call for an adult when someone makes "harmful contact" with him?
   
10. Philadelphia Eagles: This season's Jekyll and Hyde team of the NFL. Looked great in taking out the Giants, then imminently beatable in a loss to the Cowboys.
    
11. Denver Broncos: Losers of 2 in a row after going down to the Steelers, the city of Denver has called off the erection of a Kyle Orton statue. He'll be hung in effigy instead.
12. San Diego Chargers: Almost out of the AFC race at 2-3 after a loss to Denver, the Bolts have won 3 straight to move within a game of the currently slumping Broncos. San Diego is winning despite getting nothing from RB LaDainian Tomlinson, who's averaging a lousy 3.2 YPC. Averaging 332 carries over 8 seasons has caught up with the once great back.
    
13. Houston Texans: Losers to the Colts, it's doesn't matter who starts at RB for the Texans, he'll still put the ball on the turf. This week it was Ryan Moats' turn to help fumble away a chance at victory.
14. Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens' D played well enough to win, while the offense did nothing behind a QB having an awful game. Just like old times, welcome to 2007!
15. Green Bay Packers: The Pack have hit their low point of the season, giving Tampa their 1st win of the season...who had a QB making his 1st NFL start. At a disappointing 4-4, the cheese is beginning to spoil in Wisconsin.
    
16. Chicago Bears: Once again, the Bears' running game disappeared in a loss to Arizona, putting pressure on Jay Cutler to win the game with his arm. Once again...it didn't happen
17. New York Giants: New week, same result. The Giants have now lost 4 in a row. Why? The overrated Eli Manning is still playing like...the overrated Eli Manning. The Giants also started playing teams with winning records...with Eli Manning still at QB.
18. New York Jets: Head coach Rex Ryan's told the media his goal is to get back to south Florida for the Super Bowl in Miami in February. He's looking for pair of tickets on the 50 for a reasonable price.
    
19. Carolina Panthers: Jake Delahomme didn't throw any picks in a loss to the Saints. This just in; the apocalypse is upon us!
20. Jacksonville Jaguars: The utterly average Jags beat the rotten Chiefs to move to .500. A meh team with a meh record with a meh quarterback with a meh coach beat a team they were supposed to. The Jaguars are a....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
21. Miami Dolphins: The Wildcat is a fun offense to watch, but it hasn't helped the Fins win any more games. You need more than trick plays and a weird offense to win the NFL. If that were true, Steve Spurrier would have been a great NFL coach.
    
22. Buffalo Bills: Every year, I pick Lee Evans for my fantasy football team, expecting a breakout season. Every year I'm bitterly disappointed when Buffalo's lousy QBs can't get the ball to him.
23. San Francisco 49ers: Exhibit number 1 as to why playoff spots aren't awarded in September. Everyone has forgotten the Niners' 3-1 start after losing 5 of 6.
    
24. Seattle Seahawks: Seattle beat the Lions for their 3rd win of the season. In an attempt to make the game interesting, the 'Hawks turned the ball over to Detroit on their first 2 snaps of the game. Didn't make a bit of difference. The game was far from interesting.
25. Tennessee Titans: Winners of 2 straight after Vince Young took over under center. Before you think Young has figured it out, all he's doing is handing the ball off to Chris Johnson, and getting out of the way.
    
26. Oakland Raiders: Al Davis wanted to make a splash during the bye week by signing Daryle Lamonica to play QB. when told Lamonica was long retired and 68 years old, Davis said, "Who"?
    
27. Washington Redskins: After losing to he Falcons, head coach Jim Zorn said the "loss was on him". Owner Dan Snyder was seen nodding his head in agreement, pink slip at the ready. 
    
28. Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs cut RB Larry Johnson after losing to the Jags. That's exactly how you get better, by releasing a former 1st round pick who is your leading rusher.
    
29. St. Louis Rams: Marc Bulger is averaging 136 passing yards a game. That's a great passing offense...if you are the '09 Cleveland Browns.
    
30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Victorious over the Packers for their 1st win of the year. In his 1st NFL start, Josh Freeman only completed 45% of his passes, proving he really is your typical Buccaneers QB.
    
31. Cleveland Browns: Brady Quinn will take over for Derek Anderson at QB this Sunday. Meaning the Browns' QB situation has gone from really bad to merely bad.
    
32. Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford threw 5 picks against Seattle, causing Lions fans, already suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome, to flashback to Ty Detmer's 7 INT  game. Crisis therapists are standing by.

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